Weekend Wrap-Up

Okay once again i get the Worst Blogger award. While driving in the car and I might think about blogging that night. I come up with ideas and everything. I get to someplace with a computer and I just get caught up doing something else. I think I might even post at least twice this week (MAYBE!!). It has been two weeks since my last post, damn I'm ashamed of myself. I'll get it together.

Back to the topic at hand... My weekend was cool. it was actually one of my most eventful and funniest weekends in a long time. Let's break it down.

FRIDAY
Friday started off a little shaky. My job has this wonderful perk called Summer Fridays meaning that during the summer I don't have to take my black ass to work on Fridays. I love that ish!!! Unfortunately not this friday I was supposed to be a home scratching myself watching the Maury "You Are Not The Father" Povich Show. I had to finish up a few things, four hours later I leave work and go to the gym to play a little basketball. While I was at work I texted my boy M who is something like a club promoter/party thrower/hustleman about this party he was promoting. He told me that the party would be a swimsuit/beach theme and that's all I needed to know. While I am at the gym I try to get some last minute weight lifting done to increase my already extreme buffness...LOL... After the gym I go get a fresh cut and get some new earrings. By this time I'm amped about going, I trim off my chest hairs and take that fresh shower. The party was in a city where I used to live which is about an hour away. I'm listening to Tha Carter III and The Cool the whole way there. On the way, I have to go pick up our other friend. We make it to the club where I only see about three or four cars in the parking lot. One of the cars I recognized immediately. This is some BS, even though it was kinda early in the night. We walked in and there are about four Monique stunt doubles dancing in bikini tops, wraps, and runned down flip flops. I almost lost it, gas is too damn high for me to drive all that way for some big girls(No disrespect to plus size women, I love yall but I was just expecting more). So I see my dude M by the dj booth, I have to get an explanation from him before I "Hulk" out. He reassures me that all the people will be coming late, I give him the benefit of the doubt and stay. Not to mention the fact that we had free drinks for the entire night. Within the hour more people start to trickle in, but it soon becomes a sausage party with all the dudes coming in. I'm ready to go, the free Patron can't make me fight five dudes to dance with one plus size girl. I did have one girl sorta stalk me, she was cute but she had that "Misery" thing going on. She just seemed a little crazy, she would say things like "Can I wash your clothes"... WTF kinda question is that? I grabbed my other boy B and headed for the door. As we get ready to walk out, it seemed like thirty girls walked in. I don't know where they came from but I didn't care. One of these girls was brave enough to wear a thong with a little wrap over it. We quickly made a U turn, after that the night got better. The female to male ratio was like 3 to 1 by the end of the night, I will take those odds everyday. Its funny we seen dudes doing push ups, squeezing a roll of toilet paper, and dips in the bathroom trying to get that extra UMMFF. I had a real fun time, but I was done. After dancing, about 8 shots of Patron, and my boy getting slapped by this girl... It was time to go. Could I have made it back home at 3 in morning after drinking? Hell No...that's why I didn't even try. I stayed at my boys crib that night, why he decided to invite some Loud ass girls from the club there? I don't know. One of them kept touching my face and squeezing my cheeks. Its cute the first two times but the eleventh time I'm ready to body slam you. I really don't remember much after that.

SATURDAY
I wake up in the morning and see about seven people sleeping on the floor I don't recognize. As I get up and step over people like I'm walking through a landmine field. I tap my boy M on the shoulder who had some girl laying on him drooling all over his shirt. I tell him I'm about to leave and walk out to my car. I soon realize I don't have MY shoes on, somehow I had on somebody else shoes. The funny part is they are two totally different type of shoes....Lol. I did some cleaning and laundry once I finally got back home. I was cleaning up because I was hosting a little party/game night. My ex Smurf and her girls versus me and my boys. We had a lot of fun and drinks too. I had another night filled with Patron. We played a couple of drinking games, my friend Mike couldn't grasped the concept so he was DONE!!!... After that we ended up playing Taboo which is probably not a game you should play tipsy. It was funny as hell though. We whooped their arses in Taboo. I'm the Lebron James of Taboo!! After that we played a ghetto version of Win,Lose, or Draw. We would give the girls a movie title and they would have to draw it out. Once again this is probably not a game you should pay intoxicated. We ended up whooping their arses in that too. Don't ask me how but I know I drew "Save the Last Dance" somehow good enough to get my boys to get it right. I drew some music notes and stick figures with wavy arms. My drunk ass friend Mike was halfway sleep, he looked at it once and yelled out the answer. I don't know how he got that, he was barely able to complete a sentence. We played some more games and my boys were DONE!!! You never want to be the first to go to sleep around me...LOL... Once they see those pictures they will regret it. It was a real good time though...

SUNDAY
Recovery from Friday and Saturday night. I usually don't party like a rockstar, so I was being lazy that day. It seemed like I folded up every article of clothing I owned while watching TV. Also, I played a little Xbox and PS3 and called it a day.


HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND????????